Left Over Erap Jokes

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disclaimer: for erap supporters, with these jokes, i'm not implying anything serious about erap. these are exaggerations and not factual. pinoys just love erap jokes in particular. for balance, i promise to look for gibo jokes, too since he is my fave. maybe noynoy, manny as well as gma jokes.
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here goes:

FVR: Sorry I'm late! brownout! na stuck sa elevator for 1 hr
ERAP: Wala yan ako 3 hrs sa escalator

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Erap at a California Pizza kitchen
Erap: Waiter, ano bang specialty niyo?
Waiter: Sir we have a wide range of pizza
Erap: A ganun ba?..Isang Shakeys special nga!

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ERAP ON SOPDRINKS
Tanong: Ilan litres meron ang Coke 2000?
Erap: Apat!
Tanong: Ha????
Erap: LITRE C, LITRE O, LITRE K, LITRE E!! 'anga!

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People say...

Alfredo Lim is half-Filipino, half-Chinese.
Manoling Morato is half-Filipino, half-Filipina.
Erap is half-Filipino, half-Alcohol.

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First thing Erap will change is the name of Malacanang Palace to White Castle.

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Ramos: Erap, why do you cry while eating Chippy?
And why do you shed your tears on the wrapper?
Erap: Because it says here on top "Tear here"

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During a press conference on morality...
Reporter: Sir, how many women do you believe must a man marry?
Erap: 16 !!!
Reporter: Why???
Erap: Because the priest says: Four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse.

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One day many years ago, Erap's wife was having labor pains.
Erap panicked so he called their doctor.
Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!
Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?
Erap: Yes, doc!
Doc: Is this the first baby?
Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!

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Erap was at a black tie party along with Reli German who supplied him with a constant flow of Blue Label. All the gentlemen came in black jackets, white shirts and black ties and the ladies in black gowns.

Erap thought it was a boring party so he kept drinking his Blue Label to get him through the night. Then he saw a lady in a white gown. "Reli, that's the lady I like," Erap said. "She is a non-conformist and a rebel. I think I will ask her to dance." "Madam, would you care to dance with the President of the Republic?" Erap asked.

The lady replied, "No, and I will give you 3 reasons why."
"Reason No. 1, I don't know how to dance." "That's a legitimate reason," Erap remarked.
"Reason No. 2, you are drunk," the lady continued. "That's your opinion," Erap said.
"Reason No. 3, I am Cardinal Sin."

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Erap was trying to get in touch with his son, Jinggoy, so he decided to page him.
He dialled '141 - 777777' and an operator answered, " Hello, pager number 777777, sender's name please..."
Erap answered " Ahh... ERAP."
The operator continued, " Message please."
Erap said, " Ahhh... Jinggoy, this is your father. Your beeper is with me."

Contributor: Kapitan Abner - ITSI Boy sa Afghanistan